Author Archive

Battlestar Galactica: “Daybreak Part 1″

15 March 2009
by Kari Geltemeyer


I’d like to tell you I’ve come up with some smart thoughts on this one, but I won’t have time to process it fully for a couple of days at least — so instead, I’ve decided to wrap up all of “Daybreak” in one post next weekend. All I can say now is: I can’t think of anything I’d like more than to spend the next year learning more about who these people were “before the fall.” Because I still can’t bear the thought of letting them go after only two more hours.

Of course, feel free to leave a comment if there’s something you’d like to discuss now. I’m always up for talking.

Battlestar Galactica: “Islanded in a Stream of Stars”

7 March 2009
by Kari Geltemeyer


“Sometimes I wonder what home is. Is it an actual place? Or is it some kind of longing for something, some kind of connection?”
—Laura Roslin

“One of us here is living proof that there is life after death.”
—Gaius Baltar

“This ship has never let us down. So we’re gonna send her off in style.”
—Bill Adama

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Battlestar Galactica: “Someone to Watch Over Me”

1 March 2009
by Kari Geltemeyer


Adama: “Did you love her, Chief?”
Tyrol: “I thought I did.”
Adama: “Well, when you think you love somebody, you love them. That’s what love is. Thoughts…”
—from “The Farm”

“Sometimes lost is where you need to be. Just because you don’t know your direction doesn’t mean you don’t have one.”

So! We’re back on solid ground this week, and I’m feeling both relieved and guilty for having doubted in the first place. What’s so easy to forget—with the impatience and anticipation of watching it all spool out in such fits and starts over so many years—is how well the makers of this thing are able to raise a storm right up out of the quiet every damn time. And in doing so make you doubt your own doubts, or at least question what you would have sworn five minutes ago was true. And then remember that you should never, ever trust the quiet. And to be very careful what you wish for.

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Battlestar Galactica: “Deadlock”

21 February 2009
by Kari Geltemeyer


“How many dead chicks are out there?”
—Hot Dog

Really? We couldn’t have packed most of the events of this episode into 15 minutes and then moved on to something else? We needed to watch growly Adama stroke the walls of his ship 35,000 times in order to understand what’s at stake if he loses her? We needed to see 35,000 chummy scenes of him bonding with Tigh in order to understand that they are in deep, utterly platonic man love? Which we’ve known for, oh, four or five years now? And ditto the 35,000 times the Final Five (plus Six!) voted on whether to stay or jump ship? Yuck. I don’t mind the talkies, but this one suffered from a serious lack of urgency: a weird stop on forward movement in half the storylines combined with lightspeed narrative unspooling in the other half. So we’ll make this short & sweet & epically crabby, and then you can holler at me in the comments, because the less time I spend thinking about it—and my fear that Tricia Helfer is going to stab herself in the eye with her own cheekbone soon—the better.
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Flight of the Conchords: “Unnatural Love”

17 February 2009
by Kari Geltemeyer


Saturday. We open on Murray driving the boys to a disco club. Why? Nobody’s saying. But we are all loving it. Except for Jemaine, who’d rather go watch a video, and Bret, who would prefer “a sleep,” and thus they are both crouching down in the backseat and looking horrified when Murray pulls up to the curb and drops them off with Dave. Dave isn’t so wild about it, either, especially when the Conchords crowd him on the dance floor. To wit: “You guys are dorkin’ up my vibe with all the dicks. We need to spread the dicks out a little bit, create some lady space.” Maybe the two best lines ever written, and we haven’t even wrapped up the credits yet.
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Battlestar Galactica: “No Exit”

14 February 2009
by Kari Geltemeyer


“I think we have to accept who we are.”
—Admiral William Adama

“You are not a mistake. If you could just accept yourself as what you are.”
—Ellen Tigh

“I need to be something.”
—Kara Thrace

“Saul, stay with the fleet. It’s all starting to happen, it’s the miracle, right here, it’s a gift from the angels. Stay with the fleet!”
—Samuel T. Anders

I’ve watched this episode three times now: once as it aired, while I practically fermented in a stew of hatred; once with Ronald D. Moore as my personal guide, where for the first time I hated him, too; and once at a rate of approximately one scene per hour, during which I typed out nearly every line of dialogue spoken by Anders, Cavil, and Ellen, and it was that third time that I actually fell in love. And in addition to finding that I no longer absorb information as quickly as I once did, here’s what I think I learned. Forgive the mess of my own brain dump, and feel free to correct any of it in the comments. And may the force be with you all.
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Battlestar Galactica: “Blood on the Scales”

7 February 2009
by Kari Geltemeyer


“The truth is told by whoever’s left standing.”
—Tom Zarek

“I know who you are, Felix. I know who you are.”
—Gaius Baltar

At last a day of reckoning has come, and tyranny brings even more blood than we might have imagined, and not in the ways we might have guessed: the Quorum executed at Zarek’s command, that noble lunkhead Anders shot and possibly dying, renegade lawyer Romo Lampkin taking revenge with his omnipresent pen, and rather nastily at that. (Am I wrong or did he actually gut that marine wide open? I hate to go back and watch it again.) In the end all is resolved and yet nothing is at peace, as we see the cracks have taken hold, that the ship itself is beginning to split apart even as its people are coming back together, however tentatively. Every second of this show carries a weight these days, every lurch forward leading us toward something inevitable, and inevitably more tragic.
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Flight of the Conchords: “The Tough Brets”

3 February 2009
by Kari Geltemeyer


We should start by rechristening this one “I love Jemaine,” because really, I love Jemaine. And never more so than when something is smacking him in the face. We are both funny that way. Bret, on the other hand, is funny in the way that he’s willing to insult not five but seven famed rap artists in the course of an approximately 26-second number during yet another gig at the local library. (A number that also includes an approximately 1.5-second bass solo by Jemaine and is notable for having only one lyric—“______ is not very good”—and a single variation on that lyric: “But the Rhymenoceros is very, very good.”)

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Battlestar Galactica: “The Oath”

31 January 2009
by Kari Geltemeyer


“I could do this all day. Who’s next?”
—Kara “Starbuck” Thrace

“Felix Gaeta. Who would’ve thought?”
—President Laura Roslin

“When this is over, there’s gonna be a reckoning. And live or die, it’s how you act today that’s gonna matter.”
—Admiral William Adama

Semper frakkin’ fi, indeed. What an amazing hour of television. So many chickens come home to roost in the form of a good old-fashioned hell raising, packed from fore to aft with petty comeuppances and epic betrayals, as well as a couple of gloriously dirty gunfights. “The Oath” was also a welcome reminder that nothing that’s happened so far—no decision too great and no grievance too small—has occurred in a vacuum. Everybody’s fair game for a smackdown, and into the breach we go.
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Flight of the Conchords: “The New Cup”

27 January 2009
by Kari Geltemeyer


In the world of the Conchords, every decision has its consequences and every action carries its weight in impending disaster, so in the whole grand, daisy-chain scheme of things, it’s not only plausible but inevitable that the purchase of a nondescript tea cup for the princely sum of $2.79 would be what finally leads one of them to prostitution and both of them to jail.
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