I really wanted to like TNT’s Trust Me, thinking that a lighter, modern take on the advertising business would be a nice counterpoint to Mad Men’s meditation on mid-century America. With a cast mostly populated by actors I’ve liked before and the cushion of working for a cable network willing to give shows room to breathe and find their own way, Trust Me looked like a shoo-in on paper.

But no matter how many checkboxes get filled in, it’s the execution that matters.

So while Eric McCormack and Tom Cavanaugh are both charismatic leads, here they both played uninteresting and cartoonish variations of past performances. Cavanaugh demonstrated less depth over the course of these 13 episodes than he did guesting on Scrubs.¹ As for McCormack, remember the subtlety and wit he brought to Will Truman in the beginning of Will & Grace? This was the McCormack of latter W&G.

I don’t want to rehash my complaints from my preview of the season, though reading over them I see my opinion of the lead performances hasn’t changed. So what *else* is wrong with this show?

• Mason’s wife is a stay-at-home mom whose notable character traits were spending her husband’s money and whining about how little time he spent at home. TheWife and I both wanted her to STFU and get a job. I had to dig deep into my memory to think of a wife as shrewish as this in the *history* of television. The closest I could come up with was Wilma Flintstone. No job, spends too much money, makes poor Fred feel bad.
• Did you click through to my preview of the season? My opinion of Monica Potter hasn’t changed one iota. Weird, strange performance from a girl whose face looks to be sealed in plastic.
• And the most damning of all…not one of these people has the first clue about corporate politics. It was embarrassing to watch. In the finale, Tony Mink’s group manages to steal away Buick’s business from Cochran with a promise of impressive product placement and a solid campaign pitch. $75M shifted from one group to another, and a client happier than it had been in years. After this, Denise decides to finally complete her petty vendetta and fire Tony. Then she puts Cochran in charge of the group. Really? It should have taken all of ten minutes with the board of directors to convince them to fire Denise, give Tony her job, and keep Cochran away from Buick. Or, you know, Buick would walk.

McCormack has already signed on to a pilot for ABC. Good for him. Hopefully the multicamera comedy from Todd Quill will give him an opportunity to stretch beyond what Trust Me offered him.

1. Great, great work from him as JD’s big brother. If you’ve not seen it, I recommend keeping an eye out for his various appearances over the years.

So! Battlestar Galactica: what should we talk about? Hmmm… How about the new Gaeta-based webisodes that kicked off last Friday? (Blood! Drugs! Interdepartmental kissing! Lost in space!) Or the cryptically irritating teasers that Sci Fi is doling out, web-wise, and those new Angry Adama promos? Or the baffling Starbuck’s Boobs poster that just popped onto the radar? Or how about the final half of the final season starting in less than six weeks, and the fact that we’ve been waiting since JUNE 14 TO GET THE FRAK ON WITH IT?

Actually we are going to talk about my favorite character, who is of course Lee “Formerly Apollo” Adama, that wearer of cheekbones, expertly mussed hair, and pinstripe suit. Oops! Just kidding: I hate Lee. What a whiny, self-righteous, goody-two-shoes blowhard. He can’t out himself as the last Cylon soon enough for me, because maybe then he will finally get what’s coming to him, which is a Microsoft Zune. Either that or Starbuck and Dualla kicking him around in the towel area, just for being such a wiener. (And I just made a whole bunch of instant best friends with that angry little fake spoiler/scary feminist rant, didn’t I? But this is the way of things. Also, I think it’s best to lay my oddball likes, dislikes, and stylistic writing tics out here in the beginning, because ultimately it will save us all a lot of time.)

And what we’re really doing today is launching a little series called “Great Moments in BSG,” starting with my actual favorite character, Laura Roslin. (She of the glasses, neverending death watch, and brand-new old boyfriend.) Mary McDonnell, after all, is the reason I tuned in to begin with, because who would make a more level-headed president for the 49,000-something human survivors of a nuclear apocalypse than Donnie Darko’s eminently sane and sympathetic mother? And who else could get me to turn on the Sci Fi channel? (Note to Sci Fi: nobody.) Naturally I never suspected that she would turn out to be such a morally wifty, power-hoarding nutbar, but then head-snapping surprises and shape-shifting character curveballs are part of what BSG does best, and one of the reasons I’ll follow this show gladly, wherever it leads.

I had a tough time narrowing this one down, though, because Laura Roslin is such a conundrum. I mean, do we celebrate the Good Laura or the Borderline Evil Laura? Or both? I love both. I love how she tries to save mankind by remaking the rules as she sees fit and without answering to anybody, which is exactly what we loathe about Some World Leaders, but that’s also why BSG is so brilliant: just when you think you’ve picked a side, they show you another side and make it make just as much sense. And how she went from the soft-spoken Secretary of Education, tentatively accepting her new presidential authority in the miniseries, to a brutally detached pseudo-dictator who was willing to not only let Baltar die but to help him along in “The Hub,” was nothing short of remarkable. Plus, that moment when she finally, finally stepped back inside of herself and admitted to Adama that she loves him? Oh, my little shipper heart was officially breaking with joy and relief, even knowing the future looks grim for them both. Or maybe because of it. There can be no happy without the sad.

Yet for all that, for my favorite Madame President moment I have to go with something simpler and smaller, and maybe even sadder:

CROSSROADS, PT I.
It comes down to this—five small words on the witness stand. Five syllables. A plea to an old friend, the saddest whisper: “Please don’t do this. Please.” (Which, according to Ronald D. Moore, was a Mary McDonnell ad lib.) And then, so quietly, in that sweet, private Laura Roslin schoolteacher voice, the Laura Roslin we met so many lifetimes ago, when she first felt the weight of the world fall onto her shoulders, who could never have imagined doing all of the things that she’s done: “Captain Apollo—you remember that? I always thought it had such a nice ring to it. I am so, so sorry for you now.” Mourning them both, right before she turns back into the cold-blooded pragmatist she never thought she’d have to be. But it was nice to be reminded that the schoolteacher was still living in there, somewhere, waiting to see daylight again, even if she did it all with one sharp, calculating eye on her own rapidly fleeting agenda.

Whew! Now that we got that out of the way, you can tell me some of your favorites: scenes, characters, episodes, lines, hairstyles, battle scars, whatever. And I’ll be nicer to Lee the next time around. Promise.

Last night’s episode (#507, The Itch) opened with the weaving and bobbing of the camera, which persisted on and off throughout the show, depicting the confusion, inner turmoil and disorientation of the agoraphobic patient that forced House to move his surgical team offsite. This move to an offsite location is yet another way the writers try to shake things up for viewers. We know the basic formula for every House show. Patient gets sick with some mysterious disease. House and Co. make a few erroneous guesses and the patient alternates between getting better and getting worse. Then, finally inspiration hits House. He pieces together the mystery, the patient is cured and House saves the day. If, week in and week out this was all to be enjoyed in House, things would get boring quick. But House is driven by its characters and our desire to see him interact with his staff, Cuddy and Wilson, not to see a patient cured each week.

In this, the producers, directors and writers get it right. Mix up the basic formula but pull us in each week to see House struggle with his own demons, terrorize and abuse people and conflict with his inner teddy bear. And it doesn’t hurt that he is so darn adorable to watch struggling, either.

Seriously. He was bad. It didn’t help that I was comparing him to John Simm who brought a lot of intelligence and wit to to his original version of the character. It helped him even less that Meany played Gene Hunt much quieter and calmer than Philip Glenister and still blew O’Mara off the screen.

So when LoM was retooled I figured for sure O’Mara was going to get tossed aside for an American who could really sink his teeth into the character and stand up alongside a great character actor like–

Oh. Everyone and everything else was tossed? Meany, Lefevre, David E. Kelley? Gone. The LA setting? Gone. But Jason O’Mara and his leather jacket stayed.

New showrunners moved the show to NYC in order to harken to the great period cop shows set there like…Kojak? I really can’t think of another cop show set in New York in 1973. LA – as in the David E. Kelley version – or SF would have been a better choice for nostalgia. But owing to the city-envy Angelinos suffer,² they selected the Big Apple. And as disappointed as I was to see Meany and Lefevre out, I can’t say Harvey Keitel and Gretchen Mol weren’t excellent additions to the cast. Maybe they could keep a few stray charismatrons³ from sinking into O’Mara’s gravity well. And who knows? A few extra months with a dialect coach might have helped him have an Eliza Doolittle moment.

So it was with low expectations and some trepidation that I set the Tivo to get LoM tonight.

1. The first pre-air was crap.
2. I really liked the original.
3. I think Jason O’Mara should stick to drinkin’ fookin’ Guiness in his local fookin’ poob.
4. Gretchen Mol, I love ya, but sometimes I’m reminded of your epic wet blanket in Rounders. It’s not your fault; you played Jo so perfectly you made me hate you for a few years.
5. For all D.E.K.’s faults, he’s still a good writer. Not so sure about the October Road guy.
6. Oh, and I’d heard rumors about the WTC showing up just a bit too much.

I made it to the end of the teaser before I stopped the recording. Dead.

Don’t get me wrong, I was going along with them up to the teaser out. I thought it was funny that Sam was driving a Jeep, just like the original. I shook my head in disbelief when they brought in the identical twin with a gambling problem. I was comparing New Coke to Coke Classic when Maya and Sam were talking about meeting her folks. All in all, I thought they were doing a journeyman’s⁴ job of redoing the show. I figured it might be okay. I thought, “hey, it’s not the same but it might be good enough for TheWife who can’t deal with the Mancunian accent.”

Then they did it.

You know what? Fuck you ABC. Fuck you ABC and the writers and the director and anyone else who thought the only possible way to show Sam that he was back in time was to show him the WTC. Because the clothes and the 8-track and the car weren’t enough?

It’s been a few years now, so I might be wrong about this detail, but in the wonderful British version, Sam sees a billboard announcing a new freeway. Not a freeway that would be blown up killing thousands, just your average, run of the mill, goddamn road on which Brits drive fast and on the wrong side.

It’s a cheap shortcut, and it implies far greater depth to your piddling little entertainment than is warranted.

In his review of the new pilot, Alan Sepinwall said,

the towers threaten to overwhelm much of the action. Making them a part of the storyline — Sam tries to prevent 9/11 from 28 years in the past — would be an awkward misstep, and yet just showing them without comment makes the rest of the show seem less relevant than it probably wants to be.

I can’t imagine anything less relevant than seeing Sam and Annie dance a pas de deux while he feels remorse over Maya, less relevant than bickering with Gene Hunt like an old married couple, less relevant than whining about DNA and chains of evidence custody and procedure, when those towers cast long shadows over his head. Really? If you were dropped back in NYC in 1973 and your first sight was of those magnificent towers, straining for the heavens, wouldn’t you hop on a plane to Saudi Arabia and kill yourself the 16-year-old son of a wealthy businessman?

It appears this crappy season continues on its record-setting run of fruitlessness. Let’s hope the midseason shows can redeem this year in the smallest possible measure.

1. I’m convinced this redheaded siren is going to take her sly, knowing smile and husky voice to great heights someday. This was not to be that day.
2. Rightly.
3. Massless particles of charisma, natch.
4. Not Journeyman, the NBC show about a time-traveling American portrayed by a Scot.

I can’t be too upset by this. Clearly the show was underperforming on Friday nights and the programming wizards at SciFi needed to move it. What impresses me is the depth of analysis they performed to figure out its new home. Who knew Charlie Jade did so well with insomniacs and people who buy Flowbies?

Taking its place on Fridays will be a repeat of the prior week’s episode of Doctor Who. I can’t say anything bad about the great British import other than asking how he keeps his neck warm without a proper muffler.

SciFi made several errors with Charlie Jade, some of them specific to this show and some of them indicative of systemic flaws. I figured I’d use this opportunity not just to look at the ways they went wrong, but also to discuss the future of science fiction television.

Self-fulfilling Programming Prophesy

I watch the SciFi channel for two hours a week. One, now that BSG is done for the summer. But that’s more than enough time for me to have seen dozens of promos for Scare Tactics and Ghost Hunters. I believe I can repeat verbatim the voice overs from the ads for both those shows. The former is a retread of a show from a few years back that no one watched, hoping to garner ratings by riding Tracy Morgan’s coattails. The latter is one of SciFi’s biggest performers. I mean, bigger than Doctor Who. Bigger than BSG some weeks.

I’m not going to take this opportunity to bash Ghost Hunters. If you enjoy watching retards chase moths and fluttering leaves, that’s fine by me. I am going to bash the SciFi promotions department for failing to advertise or promote Charlie Jade in any way. How many ads for Charlie Jade do you suppose SciFi showed during episodes of top-rated Ghost Hunters?

Then again, why should the network have used up valuable ad space promoting a show that had no chance of performing? That doesn’t make fiscal sense. A dark, brooding mystery where the protagonist is an amoral anti-hero, one of your principals is a terrorist, and another a murderous sociopath is NOT going to do well at 8pm on Friday nights. Particularly not when it is taking over the spot of a show targeted at the under-12 set.

The Sarah Jane Adventures, for those who don’t have young children or extreme nostalgia for the Jon Pertwee/Tom Baker era of Doctor Who, is a spinoff of DW featuring the popular companion and a bunch of kids solving mysteries. I suspect when CJ premiered, not a few children tuned in thinking they were going to see their pal Sarah and instead were traumatized for life by Charlie’s stubble, not to mention 01 Boxer’s…unique ways of dealing with conflict.

SciFi had no expectation that Charlie Jade would succeed, so they spent little money promoting it and stuck it in a time slot where it was doomed for failure. But *because* they spent so little and stuck it in an inappropriate slot, they virtually guaranteed its failure.

18To34Tv

SciFi used to be a niche cable channel.  We’ve still got one or two of those: FoodTV and…um…QVC? Over the past few years, SciFi has slowly and subtly been repositioning itself, like several other cable properties. Their clear goal is to target the rich demographic bracket of 18-34 year-old males. That demo spends a lot of money on entertainment and big ticket items, and is much prized by advertisers.

Think I’m exaggerating? What does the ECW have to do with science fiction? Or Tracy Morgan’s down-market version of Punk’d? Or Ghost Hunters? I know an argument can be made for the latter, but anyone so doing would have to admit to being one of the retarded fans of the retarded “paranormal investigators”. (Huh, guess I am going to bash that show. A lot.)

Why doesn’t NBC Universal just build a new cable channel from the ground up to attract that demo? Because it’s *hard* to launch a new cable channel. The lineups of cable and satellite providers don’t change very often, and convincing them to add a new feed can take years. If no one offers it, the channel has no viewers, and that in turn makes it hard to convince the providers to offer it. If you think that sounds familiar to the promotion problem I outlined about Charlie Jade, you’re correct. These selection biases abound in entertainment.

Some of you probably have seen the network Spike. I watch it from time to time. It is a network that unabashedly targets that 18-34 male demo. I applaud them for their honesty and marketing savvy. Spike TV has only been with us since 2003, which might seem to shoot holes in my “hard to launch” theory…except of course that Spike used to be TNN, The Nashville Network. It was easier for Viacom to completely re-brand and reposition an existing property in its portfolio than launch one from scratch.

I expect in another year, after BSG has ended its run, NBC Universal will accelerate the niche-drift on SciFi and complete its transformation into a new network Aimed at Men. Then they can compete head-to-head with Spike for dominance: MMA vs ECW, reruns of Star Trek vs reruns of Enterprise. I’ll even offer them the name 18To34, royalty-free.

Science Fiction Mainstream

I find it interesting that the programming and promotions departments at ABC Family have a better idea how to schedule and market science fiction than the folks at SciFi. The Middleman and Kyle XY are both heavily promoted lynchpins in the network’s schedule. Both are as different in tone from each other as they are from Charlie Jade, but ABC Family finds a way to make room for them. And it’s not just on ABC Family. Across the dial you can find science fiction shows.

I’m tempted to argue the time might be past where we even need a niche channel devoted to science fiction. In the last year, the broadcast networks aired Lost, Heroes, Journeyman, Bionic Woman, and Chuck. Some are hits, some bombs. Clearly SF has become more mainstream. Still, there are certain types of SF that just don’t do well with general audiences.

During the WGA strike, NBC aired BSG to fill schedule holes. It got slaughtered. I want to blame NBC’s promotions department for doing as piss-poor a job as their corporate siblings at SciFi; however, only a small part of the blame can be placed on their shoulders. BSG *looks* like science fiction – unlike the castaways on Lost, or the polite nerd on Chuck – and that is a very hard sell. Science fiction, for all its mainstream acceptance, is still fundamentally a ghetto genre.

Just ask the Nobel committee. They, along with some uptight literary critics, had to invent “magic realism” in order to give Gabriel García Márquez the Nobel Prize for Literature.

(No joke. Read “One Hundred Years of Solitude”. Then watch the episode “Cause and Effect” of Star Trek: The Next Generation. I’m not arguing that a piece of pop culture can compare to one of the greatest novels of the 20th century in terms of quality. But in terms of story?)

The Future for the Niche

I believe there is actually room for a true SF channel, one that can attract original voices and give them a chance to create innovative shows. But it’s far too late to do that on cable and satellite. We’ve already seen the lengths Viacom had to go in order to break through the calcification of the lineups. The providers already offered TNN, so Viacom just changed the name and every single show on it in order to create a “new” channel. Unless someone out there has a broadly distributed channel they would be willing to convert, that is not the way. The way lies with New Media.

There are already dozens of niche offerings out there, but no one has tried to create a single forum, a single broadcast channel in which to consolidate them. I’d imagine we’ll see some headway on that front in the next few years. Hell, all we need is for FOX to axe Dollhouse, Fringe, and Virtuality all in the first season and it might happen next year. Think of the possibilities of an Internet-based network founded by Joss Whedon, J.J. Abrams, and Ronald Moore, dedicated to developing and promoting innovative, cutting-edge science fiction.

I almost hope FOX does cancel all three shows, just to see that happen right before our eyes.

What of poor Charlie?

Charlie Jade *is* still scheduled on SciFi. They haven’t canceled it, just buried it. Since I imagine most people are time-shifting with DVRs anyway, it’s really not that big a deal for existing viewers. New viewers, of course, are off the table. No one is going to “discover” this little gem of a show at 3am. But as long as SciFi airs it, and as long as Mike and Jason are willing to give me the space, I’ll be recapping CJ here at Pop Critics.

Of course if SciFi decides they need that primo 3am Monday slot to sell Cortislim or “Hip Hop Abs”, then I guess I’ll give it up.